The worst character I ever named


Once upon a time many moons ago, in a D&D session far, far away I generated an Elf. This being Classic D&D, that’s all she was, class’n’all. But I said – and I regret it now – that’s she’s a Ranger, in the best Aragorn tradition. Only she’s an elf. And female.

I called her Lorna, and I thought she stood a chance of surviving beyond 1st level. How wrong I was. The jibes started almost immediately.

“Lorna…… Ranger. Lorna Ranger! Does she, y’know, arrange lawns? What is she, some kind of landscape gardener?”


“Hey, after we clear this dungeon, I’ve got some ornamental shrubs that need……….”


“How about a nice pond?”


“Hey, has she got a brother called Homer?”


Sorry Lorna, but I’m kinda pleased that the Manscorpion ate you.

That’s my embarassing name character. What’s yours?

6 Comments on “The worst character I ever named”

  1. Did you ever plan to get a companion named Tanto. How about a horse named silver, one that you could train to come when you whistled? Did she wear a mask?

    I don’t remember any really unfortunate names that I have had, I just thought that I would get in on the harrassment.

    I did have a Drizzt clone when I was twelve. One that I named Drizzt. This was when only Crystal Shard was out, and none of my friends knew of him. I hope no one remembers that character.

    Oh, crap.

  2. A friend of mine told me that at one session he was drawing a blank for a character name. He looked around the room with everybody waiting for him and finally spotted a computer keyboard. The others were bugging him “whats your characters name man” and he finally got fed up and said “Numlock the thief”. The funny thing is that no one seemed to notice where he got the name until he said that he had a brother named “Capslock”.

  3. In my dialect, that association would never happen. It would sound more to what PA is alluding to.

    Numlock would actually be a fair name, IMO. Capslock, not so much.

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